Rogue Spear(ed)
Looks like somebody absorbed a buffet tablePeople do some crazy stuff when it comes to comic books. Let's just say that for the purposes of this discussion, 'crazy' is defined as 'anything more than reading them'. Some people dress up as their favorite characters and attend conventions. Some people write erotic fiction involving their favorite characters. These guys re-enact the Secret Wars.
Some people write detailed two-page articles on how Rogue and Ice-Man (or Gambit) could consumate their relationship, with lines like:
The writer is, in fact, Regina Lynn (zOMG A GIRL ON TEH INTERNETS!!11one!), sex columnist for Wired.com. This is the article, on a major website for the world's foremost tech magazine. I read Miss Lynn's column, Sex Drive, when it comes out and for the most part it's pretty good. Not as blunt as Dan Savage or as filthy as Tristian Taorimino or sarcastic as Gram Potante, but it's pretty good sex writing.
Except the Rogue article.
Now, there's probably a lot of people out there who want to imagine the practicalities of Rogue having sex: with her film boyfriend Iceman, comic boyfriend Gambit, with Professor X or Kitty Pryde or Beast or Magneto or Spock or Superman or a centaur. There is also one person, myself, who imagines finding a way to cure these people with a 'weird internet pervert' cure or, should that be unfeasible, stomp on them with giant robots. But then, I'm not the sole sex columnist for a major magazine, I've got very little power and very little responsiblity. If I was writing a column about sex for tens of thousands of people then I'd probably put some, y'know, sex advice or something in it. You know, something that might have the tiniest bit of relevance to readers' lives? While I'm sure that ms. Lynn's advice is very practical, it's only really practical if you happen to be a mutant with a life-draining death touch. Well, I say 'practical', but sex isn't really practical when you're sharing a house with the world's best telepath (Professor X in the movies, Emma Frost in the comics).
Still, reading a column about hypothetical X-sex is still less painful than reading an X-comic where Rogue actually has dialogue:
Some people write detailed two-page articles on how Rogue and Ice-Man (or Gambit) could consumate their relationship, with lines like:
I imagine Rogue's gloved fingertips light on the pulse in the hollow of Bobby's neck, then tracing his collarbone, teasing. Then firmer down the pec, across the nipple, stop for a pinch, smooth it over with her palm. Down his ribs, over his belly, lower, lower, taking her time.Now picture the writer in your mind. Smell the cheetos in his beard. Imagine the Wikipedia article he has written on some impossibly obscure Anime and all the e-mails he sends straight to Larry Sanger (cc'd to Wil Weaton) whenever somebody dares to vandalise his magnum opus by correcting the spelling.
The writer is, in fact, Regina Lynn (zOMG A GIRL ON TEH INTERNETS!!11one!), sex columnist for Wired.com. This is the article, on a major website for the world's foremost tech magazine. I read Miss Lynn's column, Sex Drive, when it comes out and for the most part it's pretty good. Not as blunt as Dan Savage or as filthy as Tristian Taorimino or sarcastic as Gram Potante, but it's pretty good sex writing.
Except the Rogue article.
Now, there's probably a lot of people out there who want to imagine the practicalities of Rogue having sex: with her film boyfriend Iceman, comic boyfriend Gambit, with Professor X or Kitty Pryde or Beast or Magneto or Spock or Superman or a centaur. There is also one person, myself, who imagines finding a way to cure these people with a 'weird internet pervert' cure or, should that be unfeasible, stomp on them with giant robots. But then, I'm not the sole sex columnist for a major magazine, I've got very little power and very little responsiblity. If I was writing a column about sex for tens of thousands of people then I'd probably put some, y'know, sex advice or something in it. You know, something that might have the tiniest bit of relevance to readers' lives? While I'm sure that ms. Lynn's advice is very practical, it's only really practical if you happen to be a mutant with a life-draining death touch. Well, I say 'practical', but sex isn't really practical when you're sharing a house with the world's best telepath (Professor X in the movies, Emma Frost in the comics).
Still, reading a column about hypothetical X-sex is still less painful than reading an X-comic where Rogue actually has dialogue:
posted by G at 5:12 AM
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