Satan is comin' to town! The Christmas album

Take a wild guess about what they're about to do with that Candy Cane.

Happy holidays everyone! This very special post is for everybody I gave a CD to this holiday season, because I'm far, far too cheap and lazy to write the track listing myself or print a playlist. So, for the ten or so people I'm giving the same present to this year, and all of teh Interweb, here is the full track listing for my awesome mix-cd: The Liberal Plot Against Christmas

1) Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights: DFA1979 get the party started in style- the video for this song has them wearing gold sequined clothing, which has officially transcended the irony barrier and come full circle back to cool. Oh, and the noise you're hearing was made by only two guys.
2) The English Beat - Mirror in the Bathroom: I don't know too much about these guys, except that they recently played here in Portland and travelled here all the way from the 1980s in their Delorean. They bring the funk in that white-boy new-wave dub style that I loathe anywhere else. The song will make you want to do rails off a glass coffee table.
3) why? - darla: why?, real name Yonnie, was inspired to write this song after seeing a pro-life commercial. This is the first of two tracks from Oakland's lower-case lovin' anticon records. Check out their 'music for the advancement of hip-hop' label sampler for more, but not before admitting that why? is as much a hip-hop artiste as Fiddy-cent.
4) Isis - Weight: Isis are from Boston and do metal like nobody else dares.
5) Jet Alone - What Booty?: This is the first of my tracks, included to balance out an acoustic and rock heavy track listing. There's 8-bit beats over Grime vocals from Wiley and associates.
6) Black Mountain - Druganut: Okay, let's get this out of the way: Black Mountain went on tour with Coldplay. Don't hold that against them, because they sound like Stevie Wonder meets 'Sabbath. Druganaut is one of their finest songs; dedicate it to the 'head in your life.
7) Sloan - Two Seater: I've finally found a good band from Canada 'ey. The country that gave the world The X-files, Barenaked Ladies and Wolverine produced this tasty nugget of indie-rock. There's a personal message in the chorus too.
8) 27 - Cold Hands, Warm Heart - I found this on the Relapse records sampler 'Contaminated 5.0' alongside such artists as Canivorous Erection, Red Harvest and Pig Destroyer. And it's Lounge, as in a sweet, soulful torch song with a slightly hip-hop bent. Why 27 is signed to Relapse I'll never know.
9) Boom-bip and Doseone feat. Buck 65 - The Unthinkable (Venetian Snares mix): Wow, four artists I like doing one song. This one has kind of a personal bent too, since I've not slept for a long time.
10) Smog - Bathysphere: Smog is dating fellow American singer-songwriter Cat Power, which makes him okay in my book. The fact that his songs absolutely slay helps too.
11) Low - Sunflower: Picking just one Low song is hard, but Sunflower just about pokes it head above the rest, thanks in no small part to Steve Albini's production job. Low are, primarily, a husband and wife team who also happen to be Mormon and very, very unhappy about something. They invented 'Sad-core', or 'Slo-core', so Latter-Day-Saint friendly props to them.
12) Mazzy Star - Fade Into You: I don't know what a 'Mazzy' Star is, but I know the band made some fine psych-indie stuff back in the nineties. This was their suprise hit back in 1992, though they kept releasing great albums up until '96, and they're now defunct.
13) Bob Dylan - In my time of dyin': A Bob Dylan song. I don't actually have to say anything else.
14) Jet Alone - Aurora Snow: More rampant egotism from me, with a cut from my (still unrealeased, thankyou very much Record Industry) Nonchalant LP. The samples are from South Park, pornography, Dorset Stoner-rock levianthans Electric Wizard, and The Pixies (you won't hear it, but I've sampled the bass from 'Debaser').
15) Autolux - Turnstile Blues: Autolux channel Sonic Youth, Velvet Underground and much of the indie-rock of the nineties to make their unqiue and uniquely gorgeous sound. The tight-as-your-kid-sister drumming is from a female drummer, so kudos to them.
16) Kyuss - Day One: Back in the nineties, Kyuss tore up the desert like Charle Manson's Satanic Dune Buggy Attack Squad, then became Queens of the Stone Age and tore up the mainstream. This is the secret track from their last album (And the circus leaves town).
17) Turbonegro - Get it on: Faux-Gay, Faux-Nazi Deathrock from Norway. You heard me. If you can get laid nowhere else, you can still get laid at a Turbonegro show, with ten extra points for pulling one of their devoted fanbase, the Turbojugend.
18) Mercury Rev - Chasing a Bee: Jeers if you only know them for 'Goddess on a Highway'. Cheers for this trippy shoegaze thing they did on their earlier 'yrself is steam' ep.
19) Sebadoh - Brand New Love: I wanted to end the record on an upper, so here's one of the biggest uppers since Adderal. The message is simple: Now sucks, but at any moment something really awesome may happen. So cheer up.

There were some songs that wouldn't fit the CD, but warrant mentioning nevertheless, and here they are:

Pentagram - Forever my Queen: Pentapgram are what Black Sabbath would sound like if that fuckwit 'Ozzy' wasn't fronting them. Good, in other words. Relapse recently re-released their best of, so check it out.

Type O Negative - I don't wanna be me/My girlfriend's girlfriend - They're also-ran Nu-metal losers, but I grow a big rubbery one very time I hear these songs. Don't wanna be me is sublimely stupid, Girlfriend is sleazy and also quite stupid.

Themselves - Grasskirt: This would just weird everyone out. Doseone, who is also Themselves, has a voice like the Mexican guy from Cypress Hill if he was a Victorian-era scientist investigating a series of ritual murders with his negro manservant.

Team America Soundtrack - America! Fuck Yeah!: Liberty! The Alamo! Las Vegas! Christmas! Immigrants! Sportsmanship! Slavery! Books!

Iron and Wine - Jezebel: Iron and Wine is only one guy. I'm calling shennanigans on that Sub-Pop beardo. Good song though.

I'm sure I'll add a bunch more to this list, but if you're interested try to find the extra songs on a P2P service (then buy the albums, these are artists who deserve your money).
Oh, and Merry Christmas everyone!

Yep, nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like the fun at Xavier's school in the early eighties, tovarisch