Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Suicidegirls, um, suicide themselves


Some Suicidegirls, suggesting lesbianism but not actually touching naughty bits or anything

All is not well with the moderately attractive Suicidegirls
The pierced, tatted and puppy-fatted young ladies of SG.com have experienced something of a pogrom of late, with Sicily, Katie, Apnea and various other softcore types have been excluded from the site. Don't worry, you can still see pictures of their pale, half-attractive bodies, they just won't be able to write stuff about how Midterms suck on their journals and stuff.
You see, up until now everybody thought that SG was masterminded by 'Missy', a vaguely punkish blonde who was the group's mouthpiece in the press. As it turns out, the whole shebang was really created by Sean Suhn, a very male guy with a talent for marketing, and a penis. And according to this, the guy's also an asshole who pushes girls around, verbally abuses them and won't let them sign contracts. Though it is never stated that he eats babies and endorses cancer, it is implied. So that whole thing about how SG is run by girls, for girls is bullshit.
The news has sent the internet world reeling, with Suicidegirls members dropping rapidly while membership to actual pornographic websites climbs to 113% of all net users. As the markets closed today Suicidegirls was down 25.23 on the Shaftfro-Analstar exchange, and 38.19 on the L'Il Bow-Wow-Dow-Jones.

Real Suicidegirls founder 'Sean', no doubt plotting to poison Gotham City's water supply or produce the next System of a Down record or something really fucking evil, yesterday, (c)Associated Press.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home