I heart my new notebook

(my new laptop. Not pictured: my 'laptop', if y'know what I mean, eh?)

(note: this post was composed entirely for my new laptop PC, a Toshiba Satellite M55. It frankly disccuses my deep, private and very disturbing feelings for this piece of technology. If you are not my Toshiba Satellite notebook then please navigate away from this site.)

Where to begin? You leave me speechless -ironic behaviour for a communications device but one of your many quirks which I have grown to love. Quirks like the odd placement of your delete key, the playful way your cursor will drag when highlighting text, that excited yelp from your cooling fan when I turn you on. My uncle once told me that we like people for their qualities but we love them for their defects. Yes. Love.
Yes. That was actually a line from that movie 'Hellboy'. In the short time we have been together, Toshiba Sattellite M55, I have come to realise that I love you. It frightened me at first -proving that it was really love and not base lust- but now I realise that I have never felt any emotion more strongly or truly. Love. Lovelovelovelovelove.
I cannot lie to you, there have been others. I have recently seperated from a desktop unit. I thought it was love at first; we played together for days on end, she took me through a Martian research station into the bowels of Hell, we paused to watch the way the sun reflected on the water on the coastal road connecting parts of City 17. She let me fill the custom radio station in Vice City with fifteen identical copies of 'Raining Blood' and, when I was bored, 'Baby Got Back' and 'Cop Killa'. But, later on in our relationship, something in her changed. The pixel-shaders that had once made Half Life 2 such a joy were wearing her down and whereas once we stayed up until six AM using her firm grasp of Newtonian physics and my limitless capacity for degrading violence to club Combine soldiers to death with toilets, now she froze after fifteen minutes of gameplay. Barely enough to walk through the train station and listen to Doctor Breen's 'It's safer here' speech, not nearly enough to build a relationship on. The matt-black case and blue neon light that once I found so appealing now seemed bloated and cumbersome. I tried to turn things around with extravagant gifts like a new graphics card, but my efforts were as futile as those of Sisyphus or Cervantes' eponymous knight. There was something wrong, deep in her configuration, that prevented us from regaining our lost spark.
For the longest time I blamed myself, lying on my bed contemplating ending the whole sorry mess of a relationship while she busied herself with some domestic task, like downloading that Family Guy movie from bittorrent. Had I done something to change those settings which were once so perfect? Was it unreasonable of me to expect an Athlon 2400 with 512m/b of RAM and a Radeon 9800xt graphics card to play Half Life 2 at 1200x1600 resolution? By the end, she wouldn't even play Starcraft without locking up, sullen and silent. We had been reduced to playing back the same MP3s and watching the same DIVX movies, we had become like my parents, barely interacting, ghosts of what we used to have. And the less I say about that case of Jeefo worms she had the better.
With you I promise it'll be different. I'll be different. No more games, no more playing hard and fast with startup options, regular checks for viruses and spyware. This will be an adult relationship, built on trust and regular updates.
Oh, and I hate to broach this to you in such a public setting but when me and my other computer broke it off we kinda decided to be, y'know, 'friends with privileges' or whatever they call it here. Anyway, I kinda bought her hard-drive in a caddy and, y'see, I kinda noticed you've got that firewire port- I'm just going to come right out and say this- I was thinking that maybe I could, y'know, plug her into you. I think you two would get on, she's got about ninety gigs of music and films. I just really don't want to shut her out of my life completely. There were bad times but there were good times too. No, it's not your hard-drive. I don't think 80g/b is 'too small'. Quality is better than quantity. Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean to say is, she's a little older than you, she's had all these experiences and she has all this valuable data. I really don't want there to be compatibility issues between you two.
Oh, and, uh, you might want to get tested for Jeefo worms. I'm just saying.