More blogs of tEh sUck

Hey children!
I've been playing with the 'Next Blog' button again. Every click shows me that my fellow bloggers produce nothing but SOLID GOLD with every keypress.
That is, if you take 'my fellow bloggers' to mean 'you fucktards' and 'Solid gold' to mean Cancer.
Let's look at more of tEh sUck on the interweb:


jkps050


This blog fills me with unimaginable dread. Unit jkps050 writes with the heartless efficency of.... A Machine, spewing forth data like the infovomit of a Regurgamatic 5000. The subject: Our human kickboxing skills.
If, like me, you have devoted many years of study to the fields of robotics you will know that in the event of machines achieving sentience, only by developing our Kick-boxing skills can we humans hope to defeat the robot army, infiltrate their fortress and confront their leader Brainax 9000. Then possibly save some 'babes'. This site presents the terrifying possibility that the Machines may be attempting to gain knowledge on our martial arts skills, making their armies of death-bots virtually invincible, even to Keanu.
Pray for the future of mankind.

Sheepballz inc.

This website MAKES SOME BULLSHIT 'POST-HARDCORE' SONG COME UP ON YOUR BROWSER AND YOU CAN'T FUCKING GET RID OF IT. I don't care if the rest of the blog is DVD quality streaming video of Natalie Portman eating Scarlett Johannsen's asshole, that weak fucking 'screamo' mall-pop bullshit makes me want to kill again. I'm trying to listen to The Stooges, I don't need to hear My Chemical Screaming in a Well on Thursday Sevenfold Theory. I've moved on, and I'm a better person for it. Also, the front end of this site makes it look like the author has a mohawk made of dried blood.

Amsterdam News

After what seems like decades of pressing that bastard 'next blog' button, I have finally found a site that is neither a long stream of URLs nor retarded.
"What picture forms in your mind's eye when you hear the name Amsterdam?" The site asks. Now, I'll admit it isn't so much a picture as the words 'Weed' and 'Whores', with 'and wasn't that the name of Leonardo DiCaprio's character in The Gangs Of New York?' written in small print underneath.
It continues: "Do you think of Van Gogh and Rembrandt? Do you imagine the picturesque canals, criss-crossed by bridges, lined with steepled homes and dotted with quaint Amsterdamers pedaling their bikes? Do you think of the Red Light district, gay marriage, the coffee shops with marijuana on their menus?"
Now that sounds like a weekend: one last dance with paid-for heterosexuality, then off to the chapel, followed by a smoke-out with my new wife Faith No More, Mr. Bungle and Fantomas vocalist Mike Patton. Or possibly Those dudes from The Mars Volta. Yep, sure would be fine to be the beans in their burrito. A Sexual Burrito that is!
The site also features the above image of two dudes making out, to get you in the mood for some same-sex lovin'.